thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
