You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
