It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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