pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
