Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
