it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
