I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
