its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
