Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
