Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
