Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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