roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
