I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
