I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
