the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
