thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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