you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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