Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
