just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
