Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
