i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
