You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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