dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you had me at cake vodka
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
