I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
