I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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