she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
