i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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