I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
