At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
