Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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