I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
