i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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