I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
