Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
