You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
