Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
