I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
