Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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