Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
