hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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