Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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