Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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