Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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