"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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