he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
