Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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