I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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