Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
