Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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