just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His nipple licking is glorious
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