Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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